imaginemeandyuu | Question meme

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Question meme

I meant to do a question meme when I hit 11,111 but then I overshot somehow...

SO UH QUESTION MEME. For Alma Karma and Kubota Makoto (and Ur'ghaste or general RP I guess if you want).

/o/~~

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Alma's current thoughts on Dera?

Alma thinks Dera is great. Basically hands-down he thinks the guy is stellar. Even when he was avoiding Dera because he was mad, he was avoiding him because he knew that his huge bias for Kanda was flavoring things and he didn't want to wreck his friendship with Dera as a result of it.

He knows from what he's heard and seen that Nova has a reputation as an aggressive hardass, and knows from talking to Allen that "Nova" is an attempt to try to get away from that reputation, but the Nova he knows is really not like that at all. From the moment they've met Nova's shown him a lot of kindness -- not pity, either, but just kindness. Things like giving him some chocolate never struck Alma as him looking down on Alma and his experiences, but just taking it for what it was and wanting him to try something that he'd like.

He sees Nova as a really energetic, determined person who always wants to try new project to improve things for the people he cares for, for himself, and for the general society -- in that order, so if general society comes into conflict with one of those things, he'll fight fiercely for it. Alma thinks Nova is really creative and driven and constructive, honestly -- over and over he's come across Nova trying to ignore the basics of what they were just told to do and try to construct something on top of it to pull people together.

He knows Nova has no tolerance for bullshit, and he can tell Nova's very sensitive -- Partly because Allen's mentioned it, sure, but partly because he's just seen it -- and he thinks that this is pretty great too. Alma super respects stubbornness and determination even if it can turn into aggression.

Plus he also gets a strong sense that Nova was part of what helped get Guil through Sabra -- Kanda might be independant and self-sufficient but a lot of "who" he is, he relies on the people he cares about for, in quiet subtle ways he'd violently deny if noticed, and things like wearing Hydra's colors and just how he reacts to Nova makes Alma really give a lot of credit to Nova for helping out an angry bristly growly dog through a really tough time. (This is part of why he really was trying to make them talk again even though his own feelings were getting all tangled up in it -- he doesn't know the details but he could tell the level of Importance there).

Then extremely tangentially he just started out WANTING to like Nova because he thinks Allen is basically the best person ever and Allen is totally in love with Nova and so Alma went into meeting Nova thinking THIS GUY MAKES ALLEN WALKER THIS HAPPY HE MUST BE PRETTY GREAT.

Anyway tl;dr Alma thinks Nova is a constructive, determined person who wants to better himself, his friends, and the world around him, even if he's sensitive and defensive, and he super respects all that as well as just plain liking him for it.

Reverse!

He pretty genuinely likes Alma. It's not like he doesn't understand how awful akuma are and can be, but Alma just . . . isn't. He's never seen him be anything but kind (or at least hasn't seen any unkind behavior that was significant enough to stick with him at all). The biggest factor really is just that he has such a high impact on Kanda. Anyone who can manage to get as close to him as Alma's able to just naturally wins huge points.

He sees Alma as a guy who is insecure but is working hard to find a sense of security for himself. And it's not that he thinks he shouldn't be insecure really—he is some kind of abomination, and Nova respects that he seems to be taking that fact seriously and has taken steps to maintain his own control over himself, like with priesting to Zhen Ji. It's because of things like that that he wants to support him so much and reassure him that the direction he's moving in is a good one. He's practically there as far as Nova's concerned.

Their latest talk following ExoAlma's arrival moved him towards more of a friend in Nova's mind too. He always feels very out of place talking to other people about their doubles, like there was something weirdly wrong with him for not being interested in the idea of ever having one. And though he wishes Alma hadn't had to face another him like that, it was comforting to see someone else who could relate to him in that matter. Especially when he considers Alma a pretty stable guy (for what he's been through.) It's not like he thinks he and Alma aren't all kinds of messed up, but it's more soothing for him to think he's not the only one so messed up. A sense of "yes there IS someone I can talk to \o/"

That said he was really very serious about not standing for ExoAlma doing anything to mess up Alma's place here. He's seen the kindness Alma's capable of and how much he just wants to be that person, and Nova wants him to be able to be that too. It turned his protective streak on for Alma. He does respect him enough to stay out of it and let him try to handle it first, but he doesn't want to just stand on the sidelines if things do escalate.

He also appreciates Alma's handling of his fight with Kanda. :|a At the time he wasn't really hearing it because he was wrapped up in his own panic and feelings, and he still doesn't entirely know the extent of how involved Alma was in everything, but he knows enough to know it could've gone much worse if he hadn't stuck his hand into the mess. And when dealing directly with Nova he did it in a way that didn't really make Nova feel talked down to or anything, and he really appreciates when that happens. It's a hard note for people to hit with him, so when someone does it's an awesome moment for him. (When he takes the time to think back on it later.)

So basically just really likes the guy and respects how he's handling his situation and how he approaches the situations/fights others might be having, and wants to support him because of that.

How is Alma handling two Yuus so far?

immmmmmmmpressionnnsss?

I am super lacking in questions for memes lately I just have a dumb curiosity:

I almost apped a genderbent Kanda (from the same time, probably a restart). How would Alma have reacted to that? Esp. since we've never actually had any genderbend AUs for the D.Gray cast. :|a

HOW ARE WE GETTING ALONG? ~~inb4: terribly~~

Alma is KIND OF ENJOYING having two Yuus? He did not anticipate this! It was unexpected. At first it was pretty awkward because his relationship with both of them was just enough different that he was afraid of putting his actions towards one on the other, or reading too much into it because of the other, or things like that. Basically, it was romantic with Guil and platonic with Kanda for a fairly long time and he was a bit like :'D because his feelings were the same either way, it was what he got back inr eturn that was different. It's been a while IC now that it's resolved into a very similar relationship, though (You're my beeest friiiend / and I loooove youuuu) and so he's stopped worrying so much about the signals he's giving off or whether he's pushing one too hard because of how he acts with the other or things like that.

The two areas he does still have some stress over are ironically total opposites. The first one is that he knows they're jealous over each other, at least a little, and will occasionally snipe if one is closer than the other or if they kiss him in front of the other, and they get mad at the other being jealous. WHICH IS ALL REASONABLE but Alma's like ":'D oh god hhhhhahhh". The second is that he doesn't like to be apart from either so he occasionally switches up where he sleeps just to make sure that, like, Kanda doesn't think that he'd just rather be sleeping at Guil's side, just because that's the arrangement that developed.

Mostly he's pretty comfortable and he likes the attention from them both, though he still hasn't stopped thinking it's kind of weird ///

How are Gokudera's romantic relationships going lately?

He likes Rin! He wouldn't consider them friends or anything yet, but he enjoys chatting with her. He thinks she's very intelligent, is restrained in that she's holding a part of herself back when she talks to others, but is simultaneously kind of showy (meeting her when she was hosting a jewel-studded party helped with this). He'd like to talk to her more and get a better impression of her, because that's the biggest one so far: Smart, hiding a part of herself, and kind of egotistical but not in a bad way, and someone he'd like to get to know.

Back at you!

I think he would have been really interested! His own feelings on gender isn't something he 'gets' to explore very often (or allows himself to) because he feels they're out of place and something that he can't explain and not something that people want to hear about, and meeting a female Kanda and exploring her differences from her male counterpart -- which I don't mean physically but just if there ARE any, and how much those can be put down to how she's raised or treated compared to how a male Kanda would be -- would be very interesting for him. He'd probably also be a little shier at first just because he isn't sure of those differences but she'd get both his own love and interest and let's be friends foreverrr and also that inherent curiosity and relatability to how she'd feel, especially since she'd be meeting all sorts of people who may treat her differently as a result.

Oops question. On that lines, how do you think f!Kanda would react to Alma wanting to understand how it felt to come into a world where everyone was used to a m!Kanda.

Edited 2012-07-05 17:00 (UTC)

UGHHH I GOT HALFWAY THROUGH ANSWERING THIS AND FIREFOX CRASHED.

Okay so terribly obviously.

Alma knew that he'd dislike any other version of himself who showed up! There's no helping it. If it was past-Alma he'd be jealous of her because if she was here, she got to avoid all the awful bs of the Seconds, but also would never know 'his' life. If it was normal Alma, then either he did better than the current Alma and he'd be jealous, did worse than the current Alma and he'd loathe him for somehow managing to sink lower, or did the same, and then he'd just hate that Alma just as much as himself. SO HE HAS SPENT QUITE A BIT OF TIME IN THUSIA DREADING GETTING A DOUBLE because he's like "I'm going to be a huge asshole!!"

So exoAlma shows up and akuAlma immediately is like OH GOD IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN, TRY TO BE NICE TO HIM HOWEVER ANGRY AND BITTER AND LOATHING YOU FEEL, ALMA and that's why he tried to put a smile on and be nice but that didn't. Really work out very well for them in the end. Plus they're both super-reactive characters so when one is unpleasant the other reacts, and they're equally inclined towards tears and rage.

SO ANYHOW his main feelings towards exoAlma are disgust (how could he possibly go through so many of the same things, including the massacre, and ever justify working with the Order again) and pity (since it's obvious that exoAlma doesn't REMEMBER a lot of this, and if he does remember and realizes he's been working with the people who violated him so, so terribly, that's going to suck balls), and rage (because he doesn't want to remember, isn't letting himself remember, and isn't owning up to who he is and what he did as a result). And then on top of that he's hurt and scared and feels like a disgusting monsterbeast compared to him, and lonely, like his entire being is being denied, and also desperately upset that despite all this, exoAlma never had to have his total autonomy taken away and become just a flesh body for experimentation, had friends, and had a pretty good life after the fact (or so it seems) despite becoming just a tool.

But at the same time he knows it's pretty shitty for exoAlma so he occasionally tries to be nice despite his distress, even though that quickly spirals out of his control as soon as they start pushing each other's buttons.

Back at you!

.. UM. That is actually something that's never come up in the time I've played her--her relationships didn't diverge too much for the most part, so treated her like m!Kanda wouldn't elicit an odd response, she'd just... be aware apparently she'd the odd world out and everyone else is different than she remembers.

I guess she'd find it weird he'd be asking about it, but not bothered/react negatively/whatever? The different would probably be more uncomfortable if she was the only change but her whole world was switched around, so she's just as used to other people being different. :|a

I CAN'T THINK OF A QUESTION idk is there something in particular about Alma you wanna blabber about.

Yeah, I think he'd be more like -- trying to understand if her situation was different and if that was weird for her in terms of if people WERE treating her differently than she's used to now that she was here.

IDK IDK I always want to ramble about Alma about everything///

I have time.

But uh, recent developments in general? ExoAlma stuff/whatever stuff/etc.

/PUNTS FF FOR YOU.

Sob, it feels like they're both just catalysts for being even more terrible to each other. Whenever one of them says anything, the other springboards off of it into an even worse mindset.

That said, exoAlma isn't even remotely trying to get along with akuAlma. He doesn't want anything to do with the Akuma and really honestly wishes he would disappear. He wants to just sweep the other under a rug and leave him there.

As I've said before, he's still half stuck on the idea that akuAlma isn't a real person--just an extension of how he perceives himself. That idea is slowly getting toned down as he has more time to sit and think. Now that he's had a little while to calm down a bit, and stop being trauma'd every two seconds, he is trying to piece the world together in a way that he can deal with it. Which means finding out more about this otherself and trying to conceptualize the idea of him as a separate individual.

Seeing akuAlma as a separate person is hard! As he finds differences, it starts to get easier. Or rather, he starts to get horribly jealous rather than just wrapped up in self-hate.

The jealousy of akuAlma seems to be wrapped up in the idea that akuAlma 'wears' his monster on the outside, and still manages to have people who defend him and treat him, as not only a person, but as a friend too. ExoAlma has wrapped himself so deep into his issues that he doesn't think anyone who could see them plainly would be able to accept him as any of those things. ExoAlma tries so hard to be "normal" that he doesn't know how to be as truthful and honest as akuAlma--he doesn't even know where he would begin.

All of these friends of akuAlma's (that should, in exoAlma's mind, be his, not akuAlma's--as if people can't be friends with both at the same time) make exoAlma feel rather betrayed on top of hurt/lonely/angry that no one seems to know him for him. "How could they be friends with a monster and not be my friends instead?" sort of mentality that he is too wrapped up in other things to realize is completely illogical. What really gets him is that even the Lenalees are friends with akuAlma--because he thinks of Lenalee as his oldest friend ~~and sometimes crush~~, and even in his own world, she knows so little about his life before meeting her.

Which, of course, is totally ignoring the Kandas. ExoAlma doesn't want to connect those two ideas together right now. He literally refuses to think about how they relate to one another, even with all the passing comments people have made to him about it.

So, basically it's a lot of NO NO NO NO CANNOT BE from exoAlma still, and he's ruining akuAlma's attempts to be nice because exoAlma doesn't want to get along with him at all.

What does akuAlma think about what might have happened to exoAlma's Kanda?

Really, what needs to happen is for the Lenalees to find out exoAlma is jelly because why is akuAlma stealing all his friends, so they can kick sense into him. Lenalee is the only safe port.

Alma is very sure that exoAlma's Kanda is in the same sealed semilucid coma that *he* was in in his own world and he haaates that thought SO MUCH. But from what exoAlma's said it's the only thing that makes sense, because if Kanda 'died' in that situation, then he'd end up in the same situation that canon Alma did when HE 'died'. Sure, exoAlma thinks Kanda's dead -- just how canon Kanda thought canon Alma was dead. So Alma's like "Nope" over that entire thought. A piece of bitterness he expressed to -- I forget I think Akako? Is that he can't envision how exoAlma could possibly have succeeded in killing Kanda and then not taken every possible opportunity to suicide himself. If there is any point he thinks of exoAlma as a monster, it's the fact that this Alma apparently lived past Kanda -- the only acceptable death for Kanda is one where they go together. :|

What's been helping exoAlma to settle in so far?

She thinks Alma is cute and kind of naive. They've touched on some heftier subjects briefly but not really gotten into them too much which suits her. She thinks of him in the same way she would consider a school acquaintance. You can get to know them and offer them help but they're not really friends.

APP PLANS?

ExoAlma is too tight-lipped to tell them something like that when he's not half-out of his mind. But yeah, Lenalee would be a safe bet for kicking his arse into gear.

What's been helping exoAlma is not only the obvious support from castmates, even if they don't have a shared history, but also the brawls he keeps getting himself into. Punching his feelings out helps him get his head back on straight and be able to continue on--or find a way to continue on. Right now, that "continuing" is a little patchy and his crazy is still leaking a bit, but he's mostly just trying to tape everything together in a way that lets him function.

Functioning and being useful come first. Everything else comes after that... if ever.

How would akuAlma react if exoAlma did attack one (or both) of the Kandas? .... Moreso than he has already anyway.

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