Question meme?

[imaginemeandyuu]

I apparently broke 1000 comments a few minutes ago so uh QUESTION MEME! Ask me questions and I will ramble at you and then ask you questions back. We go back and forth until we exhaust ourselves!

Just for Alma Karma.

Comments

[imaginemeandyuu]

SO SOMETIMES I GO ON A BIT OF A SPREE KILLING. THAT'S NOT A CRIME, IS IT???

Good feels are good '-'

Sdfj pardon pronouning in the next bit, I'm using 'he' for Alma's thoughts of himself as Alma and 'she' for Alma's awareness of himself as that woman. It is a bit of a clusterfuck of referents.

In my headcanon, his "past life" awareness manifests a little differently than from Kanda's. We know that there's a lot of other 'failed' experiments who went the way that Kanda did and got killed for it, but Alma never had flashbacks or hallucinations himself during the normal time it would develop. But when faced with her own body he remembered and wigged the fuck out. Plus while Kanda doesn't seem really aware of who he himself ("whose hand is this?") was so much as having hallucinations of significant scenes and moments, Alma seems aware of who she is -- knows from seeing Kanda's memory what the ghost looks like, knows that it's herself, knows what Allen will see if he looks at Alma with the akuma-sensing eye, etc, which means imho that Alma has a greater awareness of himself as that woman -- an inward past self regression rather than an outward one like Kanda does.

So instead of seeing significant scenes/symbols like Kanda does, I headcanon him with a greater sense of blurred identity, memories that weren't from his life informing him, senses of self that are more of her sense of self than his, but that her feelings/memories sort of drift through his psychological landscape like clouds, if that makes sense.

SPEAKING OF HALLUCINATIONS how hard is it to hack through flora and fauna when you're hallucinating flora everywhere there Kanda...

[outofthemud]

IT DOES makes sense Kanda would probably trade him for that these hallucinations suck balls bro. Esp. since he'll probably start seeing her around more often since her appearance seems to be closely tied with Alma.

HE MANAGED FINE FOR YEARS WITH THOSE DAMN THINGS luckily there is no lotus-looking flower yet so it's not so hard to differentiate, otherwise he'd be fumbling over himself a bit.

How do you headcanon Kanda and Alma's past relationship/dynamic? Since Hoshino's just like I'LL LEAVE IT TO THE FANS and how we are saddled with the responsibility of Making Shit Up ourselves.

[imaginemeandyuu]

Yeah, agreed about her appearance being tied to Alma being around -- other than one dream I think all the times he sees her Alma is nearby, even if he doesn't know it. WHICH MAKES ME WONDER HOW THAT WORKS like what is the mechanic, is he actually reacting to her soul. Not that I expect Hoshino to actually explain...

How long until mods introduce lotus wildlife just because we had this meme in here?

I assume by past you mean 'past self' dynamic? MAN... they were obviously super in love and I am betting kind of co-dependant given that most of what we saw being made were promises/Kanda clinging to that promise. Maybe not unhealthily co-dependant but at least wrapped up in each other's lives and the hope of a life together. Past Alma seems to have been a bit weird/given to symbolizing even more than current Alma given the dominant Lotus Flower metaphor (possibly also a touch yandere at her core given the overtones of 'in the end they wither /sink back into the mud and die' and that part of what Alma can't forgive is what the Order did to their remains) ...I'm going to guess they saw each other as equals in their business though that probably didn't stop them from wanting to protect each other...agh beyond that I'm at a loss.

Your thoughts on the same headcanon?

[outofthemud]

I assume it's a reaction to familiarity! Since their memories aren't actually gone, just locked down there's possibly a subconscious recognition and his hallucinations reacted accordingly.

THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT YEAH I like to imagine they were actually really compatible with each other (because Alma and Kanda really do bounce off each other well), and really in love and if there hadn't been a war they could have lived together and been married and had kids (except who would ever trust Kanda as a father??).

But there was and they died. It makes it more depressing that way. And yeah, Kanda seems to view the other female Exorcists (not that we... see much) like Lenalee on equal terms to him unless they prove otherwise so he probably held the same respects to Alma. GOOD JOB YOUR BOYFRIEND IS SURPRISINGLY PROGRESSIVE FOR THIS TIME.

And also while Kanda hates broken promises in general memories regarding her are the only one that seem to really break out/he declared his love as he died/he states his goal as "finding That Person", and not "keeping that promise" so I think his biggest drive for wanting to keep it is because he's stupidly head over heels in love with her, and that love developed back in his past life. And it's cute except for the part where Alma goes crazy and kills people and dies twice.

AND LASTLY I would wager that they actually did have an active relationship each other. It's war and not safe and does the Order have rules about that? BUT I DON'T THINK THEY'D CARE fuck the police they're gonna be boyfriend and girlfriend. \o/

Favorite part about Alma's character/story?

[imaginemeandyuu]

Yeah, it's the bit where he sees her at least twice before realizing Alma is even in the room that makes me a bit WHAT HOW!? but I guess it is probably like SOUL RESONANCE or something.

Yeah agreed to all of the above. I definitely think there'd have been an edge of wanting to settle down and bear pastKanda's hopefully-durable babies, except lol no, war. I agree on the love being the origin of their drive to keep their promises (especially given the scene with Kanda waking up sobbing and reaching up to her while saying "I love you" and all that) and yeah totally adorable except for being utterly mentally broken.

Also agreed that they were intimate -- not that passionate couples can't be chaste if they want to be, but I can't imagine them wanting to be, especially given how (reckless)-action-over-srs-thought they both are in their current lives. I figure once they'd decided they wanted to go that way with their relationship they were already gunning it.

Oh goshhh favorite part. I love that he's sensitive and cries and so on but I also love that he's a freaking spitfire too -- that he sort of has this zone where he will whine and cry up to and then cross one tiny line and he's throwing himself on Kanda, fists flying. I think what sealed my heart was after Kanda threw him into a wall and Alma got up and was all snot and tears and then attempted to punch stupid Kanda's stupid face in.And then after they were separated, he cried, got insulted, and attempted to hit Kanda again. If he were just soft and sweet and teary I don't think he'd be anywhere as interesting as if he were soft, teary, and a violent motherfucker who will punch your stupid face in because you are so stupid and MEAN!1 If I had to pick a certain scene it'd probably be him and Kanda punching each other, exploding with blood everywhere, and then laughing helplessly about it.

On that note, what's your favorite Kanda scene?

[outofthemud]

YEAH it's hard to say how physically intimate they were, but as far as emotional intimacy goes they were TIED BY THE RED STRING as far as they were concerned.

... OH JEEZ HOW DO I EVEN PICK um.

The entirety of chapter 210. \o/

Also way back in the beginning in the Martel Arc where he sucker punches Allen and asks him "don't you have anything dear to you?"

READING THAT SCENE AFTER THE ALMA ARC FLASHBACKS ENDED WAS LIKE GETTING HIT WITH A SACK OF BRICKS holy hell.

Who's your favorite character(s) besides Alma?

[imaginemeandyuu]

Yeahhh. I wouldn't be surprised if they were physically intimate when they got the chance to be (I'd assume that privacy was pretty low, plus they're exorcists so no way do they always get sent on missions together) but emotionally totally wrapped up in each other one way or another.

sfj 210 god yes. ALSO YEAH I. The entirety of Kanda's real introduction in the Martel arc (I mean he showed up before that but it was the first 'character-driven' introduction) is killer when you know his backstory. I MEAN HE STARTS OUT BY BITCHING OUT PEOPLE FOR DARING TO MOURN. K-kanda honey you have not been left with any issues in the slightest.

Probably it's a toss-up between Allen and Miranda. Miranda I just have a lot of feelings for -- I love how her path is really for herself (to better herself, stop feeling useless, take control of her life) and I think she really has the shittiest Innocence power ever to deal with, ye gads.

What's the hardest thing Kanda's finding himself dealing with in Thusia so far?

[outofthemud]

Probably coping with the loss of the war. He's fallen into a functional routine and tell others that they're done with it and it doesn't matter, but really that and repaying Allen were his new reasons to live after the Alma Arc. And he had only been resyynchronized and back with the Order and the war for like, a day before he died. And he is still not over that! So he clings to his Exorcist uniform and is biased against the Noah/ex-Noah and is generally still stuck in that mentality.

SO RE: TWO HAVES ONE SOUL how does that work as far as consciousness goes? Is Ladyma just a lingering identity and Alma the dominate half or what.

[imaginemeandyuu]

O-oh Kanda.

Alma's the dominant half at about 75% with Ladyma being about 25%! It's sort of like. I GUESS IT IS BEST TO PUT IT is somewhat like with a single life, I remember who I was when I was 20 or 15 or even 10, and that person was "me", but the motivations and feelings that drove what I did and said and how I acted then weren't the same as they are now due to different levels of maturity, different physiology, different social experiences around me, etc. I may even remember why and how I felt it and still feel some of the same drive but it's still in the past.

AT THE SAME TIME, for Alma, although it's made up of the same pieces, it isn't as simple as that by any means because of how short a life 'this' Alma has had, how few experiences he has had in life to push anything back in the past... the fact that Ladyma was way more experienced and adult than he is so instead of the normal method of maturity and growth occurring as you gather more and different experiences, whenever he's trying to draw on experiences on a broad level he has to reach into her experiences instead of into his experiences. So there's less of a sense of past/distance there and things are thus more immediate... But it's still very "one consciousness informed by different experiences", it's just the way that's divided up in his head is really messed up compared to normal development. So the way he thinks is ~75% informed by who he is now and what he went through immediately with the Order and him and Yuuuuuu and guilt and anger and hatred and hope and all that Alma stuff, but the underlying core of how and why he thinks things is also ~25% Ladyma, except instead of being split tidily into segments that can be easily identified or made out, it's all scattered throughout or mingled in like ingredients in a meal. The dominant flavor might be pepper but you can still taste the salt.

CONSCIOUSNESS METAPHORS...

Does Kanda ever think about who he might have been in the past? If so, what does he think of it?

[outofthemud]

FOOD METAPHORES.

He's thought about it occasionally! But Kanda really can't remember... Just about anything about his past life. He has memory dreams ans familiar feelings and hallucinations but he didn't really recall a lot more than HOLD ON I'M ON MOBILE

More than those early memories (and it frustrates him he died and the seal is still there.

But he's had fleeting thought! He'd think more about who That Person might have been and why he loves her, but he's settled into his current identity now so hhis curiosity for his past life is more to do with wanting back the memories that were taken from him.

Alma's thought on what his past life might've been like?